Misconception
by TJHECTOR
Summary: "I'm not perfect. Don't you understand, the only reason why I pursue perfection is because I lack it?" -Four drabbles on the misconceptions we have about our beloved mutant turtle brothers. Misconception could be shattered-only if you let it, but the place you'll enter can be deep and dark. Rated for language in the future.
1. Perfection

**MISCONCEPTION**

**by TJHECTOR**

_-Four drabbles_

* * *

_**-Summary: **"I'm not perfect. Don't you understand, the only reason why I pursue perfection is because I lack it?" -Four drabbles on the misconceptions we have about our beloved mutant turtle brothers. Misconception could be shattered-only if you let it, but the place you'll enter can be deep and dark._

_**-A/N: **I've never written any drabble before...just thought I gave it a shot. I happened to think about these questions recently, so it'd be nice to just peal the skin and let some burning lava out, isn't it? (oh my gosh, scaring readers off with my graphic description already?)_

_**-Disclaimer: **I do not own the TMNT._

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**1\. Perfection**

I'm far from being perfect.

Don't you understand, the only reason why I pursue perfection is because _I lack it?_

A fine sword must be forged a thousand times. A true warrior must endure all the hardships just to be able to take that one more small step forward…one small step toward perfection, and his destination—becoming a great warrior and a man of honor.

And that isn't a simple task.

Yeah I bitch about small mistakes, flaws, and carelessness, but if you can't even care about those small things, how can you gaze upon that wide sky, and the great picture of life?

-O-

I'm far from being perfect, because sometimes I think the attempt to be flawless is going to cost me my life.

And it frightens me.

I feel like I'm trying to mold a blade that is already too thin, and one single wrong move is going to destroy all the effort that has been devoted into this action.

And I know I'm right.

It took many years and patience to make me the person I am, but it only requires a little blunder to crack the mask I've been wearing and forging throughout these years.

I'm not fearless. I have fears—great fears that would only come crawling onto my bed when I'm left alone in my room.

Losing the team. Losing the trust of my father, of my brothers. Losing the role I earned myself. Losing the persona I gave myself. Losing the chance of becoming perfect.

I'm not perfect.

—End of part one.

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**-A/N:** I'm gonna say this again, reviews were/are/will be appreciated!


	2. Intelligence

**MISCONCEPTION**

**by TJHECTOR**

_-Four drabbles_

* * *

_**-Summary: **Four drabbles on the misconceptions we have about our beloved mutant turtle brothers. Misconception could be shattered-only if you let it, but the place you'll enter can be deep and dark._

_**-A/N: **I'm stuck on the progress of my other stories. But still I wanted to get something out, get something done. So I came back to write some Donatello. To warn you first, I don't think this chapter is easy to understand...hey, it's ol' Donnie we're talking about. But if you don't get this, please continue to stay with me since there only leaves Raph and Mikey...and those two aren't as complex, right? *smile pleadingly*_

_**-Disclaimer: **I do not own the TMNT._

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**2\. Intelligence**

My knowledge is based on conception.

Understanding things at an abstract level grants you quick and direct access to the one and only truth. Scientific method provides you objectivity. Using my tools of comprehension, I grasp things more efficiently than most of the people I know.

Sometimes, it is a good thing, while at times it is quite the opposite.

Intelligence isolates you. It shuts down the windows around you and leaves you locked up high in the tower of Babel.

I can't recall exactly when did I realize that, at times, the only ally I've got is my knowledge. Yes, I have my brothers and my father, but it is different. They don't maneuver their thoughts at that level of proficiency—and that leaves me alone, completely alone. My language, my contemplation, my behavior…none of the above make its way through their understanding.

And I have to admit that wars tire me. Unnecessary violence and battles suites human nature, but it slows down the process of innovation—some says that they stimulate it, however, I suspect.

Often I'm very tired—tired of my concepts, my thoughts, and my reveries...but just a bit of thrill could push me to go on. Endorphin. It does trick to my mind, like its intricacy doesn't count.

It never does.

—End of part two.

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_**-A/N:** Gotta admit that I'm never good at understanding Donnie. So it would be nice if you guys go easy on me. I know it's only a drabble, but reviews are welcome! (ya have no idea!)_


	3. Attitude

**MISCONCEPTION**

**by TJHECTOR**

_-Four drabbles_

* * *

_**-Summary: **Four drabbles on the misconceptions we have about our beloved mutant turtle brothers. Misconception could be shattered-only if you let it, but the place you'll enter can be deep and dark._

_**-Disclaimer: **I do not own the TMNT. I wish I could have a brother like Raph or Mikey, though._

* * *

**3\. Attitude**

I am the bad guy.

I am the bad guy with a loud mouth, a mean tongue, clenching fists and all those burning anger. _Raphael is angry. Raphael has the most attitude among his brothers._ It's an easy picture, like a _label_. Put it on me, there it is. And now shall we continue our journey?

I like being a bad guy. I like hurting my brothers. I like to disrespect authority. Ha-ha. I like to run away from responsibility. I like to do reckless things. I like to laugh at other people's misery. I like being cruel, crude and rude, because it makes me feel good.

I want Leo to fail as a leader. I want April to ignore Donnie. I want Mikey to disappear. I think I don't have an issue.

What do you know about me? What do you _actually_ know about me? Do you know about anger? Do you know that nine out of ten times I don't know I'm being, what do you call it, _a-n-g-r-y_? Have you ever feel like being watched by eyes that are so shallow and mean, being touched by something wretched and cursed, and now you're cursed? Have you ever felt like everything has gone wrong, and there's bad blood flowing through your veins, and you can't do a single thing to make it right? Have you ever pounded a wall, a lamp, or a pile of garbage until you can feel your numb feelings gradually peeking out beyond the mist of rage but it's already too late 'cause you've hurt everyone including yourself?

Then it is. Put that label on yourself.

—End of part three.

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_**-A/N:** Here it is. I write Raph a lot, but rarely through his tongue and...yeah. I hope that one day people could walk freely on this Earth, and with joy that comes after sorrow. What am I babbling about? People are always lonely. Get rid of that label and we'll be able to face each other like newborns. Gaze through my riddles and we'll be friends._

_Since this is only a four-shot, I'll mention all the fav/follow/reviewers in the end of the last chapter. I haven't forget about you! You're all very kind and I'm very thankful of all of your reviews, favoriting and following. Until then!_

_-Hec_


	4. Carefreeness

**MISCONCEPTION**

**by TJHECTOR**

_-Four drabbles_

* * *

_**-Summary: **Four drabbles on the misconceptions we have about our beloved mutant turtle brothers. Misconception could be shattered-only if you let it, but the place you'll enter can be deep and dark._

_**-Disclaimer: **I do not own the TMNT._

* * *

**4\. Carefreeness**

Sometimes it's selfish to take responsibility. Sometimes it's selfish to cry.

While at times it's paining me to smile.

But someone had to smile, right?

We cannot just let Leo take care of all the burden, Donnie all the reasoning, and Raph all the extremity.

I'm supposed to do something as well, but they've taken that away from me. So I have to be the person they need me to be, according to their necessity.

-O-

Sometimes they call me an idiot. Sometimes they stare at me with pained eyes, worrying that I might have taken things too seriously.

Simple or serious, which way should I choose?

I choose to listen to my brothers all the time.

-O-

My brothers are the most important things to me in the entire universe. I cannot imagine what would I be, should I spend my days without them. A day without Leo's firm gaze filled with assurance, Donnie's gentle company, and that smirk on Raph's face —this simple thought scare me enough. I will do anything to have them forever, to keep them together forever.

I couldn't imagine what they'd be if they saw me breaking down in tears, in sorrow, in pain. I couldn't imagine how hurt they'll become.

So let me take it. Let me take all the pain, tears, and all the silence. Let me transform those things into what they need. Let me be their smiling baby brother, that simple-minded, cheerful kid. Let me be that role.

Until the end of time.

—The End

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_**-A/N:**_

_I want to thank those who has favorited/followed the story,** LiL PriNCeSs Me, natalie1668, yukio87, Lily-D13, Dead Hero, MonsterKitty1220, Tomomori, Americanpsycho, Amy Yocom, Ngetal Child, Stranger-chan, TMNTfangirl2000, VaRa129, and XxBlue and CrimsonxX!**_

_And of course, thank you, those who reviewed:** InsaneDutchGirl, LiL PriNCeSs Me, Infinite end, Cat girl, Americanpsycho, and mikeysgirl228!**_

_And to Cat girl: I think I'm safe now, right? lol_

_And to Americanpsycho: Thank you...I'm so flattered, like over the moon lol. And I totally agree with you on every version of Donnie being different. That's why his character's so difficult to grasp I guess._

_..._

_Anyway. Thank you all for reading this and see you next time._

_-Hec_


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